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[25 Sep 2005|01:09am]
I'm done.
some chapstick

[03 Jun 2005|11:41am]
[ mood | hungry ]

Well, yes I am alive.

Livejournal just ticked me off, so I have been keeping a journal on xanga instead. I'll be here and there though. If you wanna see it, the name is Lets_Maintain_Consciousness.

I leave for Eagle Lake on Sunday, and I am beyond excited. I can't freaking wait, actually.

Tyler called me at midnight last night, and was like "I TOTALLY FORGOT YOU'RE LEAVING." It was sad because I haven't seen him in over two weeks, and now that I'm going to be gone, I don't know when I'll see him next.

Well, we're going to get pedicures today with my gift certificate to Veda Salon, so adios, and I hope everyone has a fantastic summer.

1 need some chapstick

[11 May 2005|10:10pm]
[ mood | tired ]

Ok, so quick story time.  So we're at Acquire the fire.  Sarai and I go to the bathroom which of course has a gigantic line.  Sarai and I are seriously about ready to go to the guys side which, might I add, had no line as usual.  (no one uses the stalls anyway) So this lady puts her bag on the sink ledge and opens the top and this little dog-looking thing sticks its head out.  As I'm about to say "hey, dogs aren't allowed in the World Arena," she unzips it more, and the lady behind me is like "Oh my gosh!  That's a kangaroo!" Needless to say, everyone in the bathroom freaks out and starts surrounding her like "OMG is it real? blah blah blah" and I was like "I went all the way to Australia...didn't see any kangaroo.  And I walk into the bathroom at the World Arena and see one.  What is wrong with this? "  That's gotta be the most bizarre, but raddest thing that I've experienced in a while. 

4th period I walked to the tech building to go to photography.  I was late as usual, and it was sunny and nice. Less than an hour later as I left, carrying all of my photos for my final, it was pouring, and I mean GUSHING rain outside.  What the crack?  And stupid freshman thought they were cool by splashing every puddle they could. Now I'm normally one all for puddle jumping, but a) I was wearing slippery flip flops b) my jeans were already soaked by now c) I was carrying the 5 most valuable prints I had made all year, and I couldn't afford for them to be ruined. 

Our concert went well.  I am sad that Mr. Mays won't be here next year, but he needs his life back.  I'm just worried that we're going to sound horrible because we really have been on a peak for the last few years, it really can only go downhill. 

7 days of school left.  HECK YES.  I'm really sad though.  There are a lot of people I have to say goodbye too, and I am terrible at goodbyes.  Can't think about it...


yay for rainCollapse )

some chapstick

Live not for myself [07 May 2005|10:40pm]
[ mood | ah, I'm on fire ]

Ah. So I just got back from Aquire The Fire. It was amazing. AMAZING. I can't even think of any other words to describe it.

Ok. Incredible, awesome, overwhelming, eye-opening.

Seriously. Everything was just incredible. The way things worked out. Sarai and I got in for free simply by coming at the precise time. It was my first weekend off, and I can't even explain it.

Seeing so many passionate teenagers from all over the western states come together for the sole purpose of glorifying our creator really was amazing.

God is awesome.

2 need some chapstick

One More Inch [03 May 2005|07:49pm]
[ mood | nostalgic ]

Sometimes I feel like a terrible person.  If I've ever said anything to any of you that you took to heart (for the worst)  I am sorry. 

This song makes me happy.


MemoriesCollapse )

2 need some chapstick

Take your games elsewhere, honey. [29 Apr 2005|08:09pm]
[ mood | nauseated ]

Yuck, I feel sick.  I went to Walgreens with Walker and got one of those drumstick ice cream cones.  Except this one was freakishly huge.  But I ate the entire thing. 1) I wasn't even hungry. 2) It was chocolate, and I don't even like chocolate ice cream much.  I have no idea why I ate it, but I feel like I could never eat another thing in my life, and that would be just fine. 

I am dissapointed by the people that I am around everywhere I go.  Some friends, some aquaintances, but mostly people that I don't know.  It seems like everyone around me is the same.  You run into 20 different people of a specified "group" and ask them questions, and they all answer exactly the same.  They all dress alike, they all listen to the same music, they all agree on who and what is "in" and they all live a certain way so that they  can portray a certain image that they must live up to.  Now, I understand the possibility of common interests, but come on now.  Why is it appealing to hang out with a group of clones when not one of you is comfortable enough in your own skin to say "screw that, this is what makes ME happy"?  Are they really the friends they say they are if they can't even accept the interests, quirks, traits, characteristics, and gifts that make each and every one of us unique?  So many people my age aren't happy with the way things are.  Well then, why isn't anybody trying to change things?  If you look hard enough, you will be surprised to find that there are people out there that are going to discover at the person you are, and love you for it. 

It's snowing.  It needs to go away.


some chapstick

[28 Apr 2005|10:46pm]
[ mood | calm ]

I have nothing to say, so here are some random pictures of my fun.

la la laCollapse )

some chapstick

Her Boyfriend, He don't know anything about her [26 Apr 2005|10:12pm]
[ mood | annoyed, but sorta happy ]

Today I was at the trading post cause I had gone running in Garden of the Gods. I bought two of these pendant stone things to make into a necklace. I paid with a five dollar bill, got my change, and went home. Well, when I got home I realized that the lady checking me out had given me change back for a twenty. At first I thought "sweet, I totally just made some money." Well not even two seconds later, I felt such a huge feeling of guilt that I looked up the number in the phone book and left a message saying that I had been given over 15 dollars too much back. Some of you will probably think that is pathetic, but I felt better after doing it.

Stephanie, Ashley, Lindsay and I went to the 5th grade musical. It was pretty cute. I saw Weston, and he looked adorable in his little men in black dance. We walked through the halls reminiscing afterward, and it was crazy. So many things have changed, but yet so many things remained the same after all these years. I found out the Mr. Dicocco is in his last year, so I must go see him. I mean, afterall, he is the man that introduced me to the cello, and set my foundation. I owe him a lot.

Oh what I wouldn't give to be a little kid again. Actually that's a lie. I enjoy life, and it's a shame that more people don't. It really is.

some chapstick

I Don't know what we were fighting for [25 Apr 2005|07:19pm]
[ mood | tired ]

so I woke up and went downstairs to let the dogs out since no one was home and they were being obnoxious, so I let them out, still in a daze from being up at the awful time of 6:15. I sat on the couch and closed my eyes for a second and then decided I needed to get in the shower, so on the walk back across the kitchen to the stairs I noticed a small, and I mean tiny piece of paper taped to the glass door by the handle. It said " Some guys are coming to aerate the lawn. The gate is open, DO NOT LET THE DOGS OUT." So I'm thinking "crap, they probably didn't even notice the open gate." Well, apparently they did because they weren't in the yard. Oh yeah, did I mention it rained all night and was still raining? So here I am, in the rain, my pijamas, looking like a moron trying to find my dumb dogs at 6:20 in the morning.

Um, so today was a pointless day where we did nothing of any value at all really. Well, we gave opening statements for the trial in English, but that is all. Alex and Jordan were throwing pieces of paper at Stephanie during her report, from like 3 feet away, and Mrs. Bale was completely oblivious. It was so funny. Like in the middle of a sentence she'd glare at them and grumble a "stop it!" under her breath. Good stuff.

I decided that I'm going to stop biting my nails. I bit every single one of them on my right hand down today in English alone, and decided that I'm going to stop. Ok, I'm biting my nail as I write this...Pathetic.

Tomorrow I'm meeting Paige and Lori at Starbucks after school to talk about Campagners on Thursday. Then I get to go to Chipeta to watch Emily and Weston in their 5th grade musical. Ashley and Stephanie are going as well, so it will actually be fun.

I did my spanish homework and it isn't even due tomorrow. Talk about crazy.

some chapstick

1...2...3 and go [24 Apr 2005|08:28pm]
[ mood | frustrated ]

Today was a day that reminded me of why I want to quit my job. Luckily enough for me, I am doing that exactly one week from today, and that is an encouraging thing to think of. I had to work at 7, and was kept there until 3 trying to figure out what was wrong with the totals from the day. Whatever it was, it wasn't our fault because we checked all of the credit card totals, and they all matched, but we still had to stay there. It sucked. Plus, no one even came in until 9 to help me, so I was by myself for 2 hours doing everything, and I was freaking out.

We got some much needed rain today which was awesome. I love the rain.

It has been a few days, so to sum up a few things of what I've done:

I got sunburnt.
I made two sweet photography prints.
I finished Masterdrive.
I watched a poor boy fall off his skateboard whilst trying to impress us.
The phone bill came...
I saw a bunch of friends at Glen Eyrie.
I was given an awesome watch.
I jumped on a trampoline.
I watched the stars.
I got paid.

That's the gist of some of the week.

Everyone is glum and it makes me sad. If we all can just make it to summer we'll be alright. I got talking with some people tonight. It frustrates me that people are giving up things so important to them, when they've come so far.

No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful. He will not tempt you beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. 1 Corinthians 10:13

some chapstick

Girls just lie [19 Apr 2005|09:14pm]
[ mood | okay ]

Greendayskater70: Boys speak in rhythm

Tinkerbellchic74: And girls in code

Greendayskater70: do do do do

The clothes that encompass the laundry basket, resembling a small-scale Vesuvius of shirts and jeans finally got to me, so I decided to do my laundry. 

For a Tuesday, today wasn't too bad.  Stephanie and I went to the park to watch the little kids soccer games, and that was fun-let me tell you.  We decided who would be the popular, pretty, dorky, jocky, and cool kids when they grew up.  It's sad how we sat there planning out the futures of the little ones, but it was interesting nonetheless. 

Was late to english because of the shortened schedule, and perpetual line at Chipotle, but it didn't matter too much.  Bringing food back to school is risky because everyone wants some, and I always end up with like 10 people drinking my drink.  But I'm over it.  It was still good.

Tomorrow we have retarded Terra Nova testing and then periods 1-3.  I don't really need to be there for those, so I think I might come home instead.  Yeah, that would be nice. 

My cd player has a continuous white noise sound, even when it's off, and it's super freaky.  Like, if I'm reading a book in my room, with no other noise, it starts driving me nuts to the point where I have to unplug it. 

I owe my dad so much money.  But it's ok, I'll get it. 

47 days till Eagle Lake-22 days till summer-12 days until I no longer work at the Peak Grill.

Summer summer summer time......

some chapstick

I'd be ok if we left this world today [18 Apr 2005|09:01pm]
[ mood | indescribable ]

I got an email from Jessie Marshall today. Well, actually she had sent it last week, but since our DSL modem was (and still is) very screwed up, I got it today.  Needless to say, I was excited beyond compare to hear from one of the most influential people in my life.  I miss that period of time from around October to December. 

John is reminding me more and more of Michael every time I see him.  It's cool, but when I see him I miss the Michael that I used to hang out with until 2 in the morning when I HAD to leave, and would then call the second I got back to let him know I made it safely. I'm not really sure what happened to the Michael I knew back then, but I am sad that things have gotten to the point where we can't even talk. 

School is retarded, and I'm seriously done with it.  I didn't do as badly on my math test as I was guessing, but I still didn't do that well.  I'm not slacking by any means, but I could be working a lot harder, and I'm not.  So I guess that is slacking....I don't know. 

I miss a lot of people right now, I miss the way things were in several instances, and I miss having the feeling that everything is perfect, even when it's not.

I have to miss Brett's wedding on Saturday for my stupid job, that I am working at for only 2 more weeks.  Thank Goodness. We had a good long talk last night, and he got me so fired up that my mind was still running a mile a minute today at school. 

I'm so tired, and I am at an unusual loss for words.  Here is a bit of last night. 


Last NightCollapse )

some chapstick

She's not an ordinary girl [12 Apr 2005|08:24pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

I updated earlier, but I deleted it because it was pointless, and I had much more to say than I previously posted.

hes falling behind: yes I know her, very well indeed.

ezekiel tilt: she's the one I want.

ezekiel tilt: I swear that girl is the sweetest person I think I've ever met.

ezekiel tilt: I think I realized it when I met her.  It was raining harder than it ever rains in Colorado and she was jumping from puddle to puddle, flower behind her ear, hair and overalls soaking wet.  You introduced her to me, she looked at me, smiled and said "It's nice to meet you."

hes falling behind: ha.  How romantic. 


Well, on a more serious note, I have been thoroughly and utterly confused by people lately.  I've come to realize, that I am being put in a stage in my life where I am being/about to be tested for all that I have/believe in/represent.  Now, this is a somewhat scary thought, but I hope and pray that I will come out of this stronger, and knowing a lot more about myself and others.  With that said, I need some serious help.  I have made the decision to stop being such a liar when people ask me if everything's alright, and I tell them yes when it's not.  It has not only hurt me, but others as well, and if anyone reading this has experienced this coming from me firsthand, I am sorry.  I should trust my friends enough to be able to tell them what is going on, and I'm going to start acting as if this is the case-because it really is. 

That is all I'm going to say about that for now. I need to let it incubate for a little while, but it feels kinda good to decide to work on something that may seem small to some, but is pretty difficult for me.


Switch back to happiness. My dad felt sorta bad for not being able to run with me today, and came home with some lemonheads.  It was very sweet, and since Lemonheads are my absolute favorite, it made me happy. 

James broke our slide in biology that we were supposed to be looking at under a microscope.  All I heard was "oops" and I looked over and he goes "Please don't tell Mrs. Williams I did it!" Hee hee hee.  Yeah right, like I'm taking your blame for this one.  You're alone, bud.  ;)

Well, I am done for tonight.  I feel just fine, I have lemonheads and I am talking to a friend who is very important to me.  Goodnight.

I freaking love this song. 



some chapstick

khdfashasfhidfsauhrey8732q7uihasjkdhaslkjd3q73y4riuand [10 Apr 2005|07:18pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]


So I'm sitting on my bed, flipping through chanels randomly.  A little blue banner catches my eye, so I stay on that chanel, for like 5 seconds, and what do I see?  YES, that is right.


Well, my day/week has been made.  And yes, District 20 is cancelled as well. Along with like every other district but Cheyene Mtn. and Manitou, both of which should be canceled by morning. 



some chapstick

The sun is calling me to the west [10 Apr 2005|02:15pm]
[ mood | determined ]

David's already been called saying that he doesn't have school tomorrow. 

If we don't have a snowday tomorrow...someone is going to get it.  Especially if District 11 is the only one that gets nothing, like usual.

So, I awoke to see a freaking white-out out my window.  No phone call from Randy or Nancy saying I didn't have to work, so I got ready, and headed off to work since I had to be there at 7:30.  Not a single customer came in until like 8:15.  Then, more and more people started coming in.  Seriously, who risks their lives driving in these conditions to go get breakfast?  There was so much ice packed on the windows that you couldn't see out of them, and the wind was bending street signs back and forth like they were toothpicks.  I couldn't believe we were all there.  It had to have been costing my bosses money for electricity, and paying us to stand there, they might as well have just closed down by 10.  But no.  Oh well, I got off at noon, so that was nice. 

The malls are closed.  The highway is closed.  Church services are cancelled.  Flights are cancelled. School should be cancelled, no?

Having the flights cancelled sucks because I know at least 4 people that were supposed to fly in today, including family, so they're all stuck at airports.  That's no fun, speaking from experience. 

Well, this weekend was pretty fun.  Thursday night, we all went to P.F. Chang's.  There were so many people, which always makes it hectic though.  Elliot like tackled me, and knocked me over into a wall (at my house, not the restaurant.)  That kinda hurt, but that's ok, I only broke my nose.  Not really, but it sorta felt like it. 

Well, I suppose I should get my laundry done and homework just in case some miracle takes away all this snow.  I wouldn't be suprised.  2 days ago I was running through Garden of the Gods with a tank top and shorts on...

State Troopers have said that 72 cars have slid off of Baptist Road alone. Elliot- "HOLY FREAKING CRAP! It's ok. We're all gonna die. It's the storm of the century!"




some chapstick

[06 Apr 2005|09:26pm]
[ mood | full ]

Pointless day. We didn't even get to my turn for playing tests, so I came home and practiced hardcore again, which was fun. I'm actually getting more serious about cello, and practicing more, and I dunno, it's just really cool.

I feel like I have senioritis. But I'm just a sophomore, so that's not really possible. Sophomoritis, I guess. Either way, I don't care about school anymore even slightly, and I want it to be summer. Like, way more than I've ever wanted summer to be here.

Yesterday at Encore, the kid playing cello in the chair behind me knew Austin. That was exciting. He said he went to Palmer, so I was naming off people who I knew that went there and I said "Austin..." and before I could go on, he was like "the kid with the mohawk?" and it made me smile.

Sarai and I went to Chipotle afterward to redeem our free burrito passes, and like the entire guys swim team was there, so that was fun. I think I provoke fights, because every time I'm with them, Sarai and Matt get into an argument. :/

So I might have to get an appendectomy. Key word being might, because if I had appendicitis, the pain probably wouldn't be this sporadic. Either way, I'm being tested for an assortment of diseases and ailments to figure out what the heck is wrong with me.

I found out at bible study that Nathan was diagnosed with a blood disease where he has too many red blood cells. It can't be cured, but can be managed, but it made me really sad, and I just started thinking about a lot of things. Prayers for him and his family would be greatly appreciated.

some chapstick

[05 Apr 2005|09:32pm]
[ mood | sick ]

I think there is something seriously wrong with me. I am fine for a while, and then I'll get like such a sharp pain in my low stomach that I seriously can't stop crying, like it hurts that bad. My mom is insisting that I have some sort of bug, but I don't know.

I think it might be my appendix/spleen/ovaries. What the heck else is in your lower stomach, by your hip bone-I have no idea, but it freaking kills.


some chapstick

I'll practice the life that I pretend... [04 Apr 2005|06:36pm]
[ mood | restless ]

I was absolutely sure I had it all figured out.

Um, so I spent the good part of last night between a very restless "sleep" and trips to the bathroom to throw up.  Wasn't much fun.  Now I feel just fine.  I might be going to the doctor because, this has been happening recently, and I don't think it's normal. 

Austin is going to Eagle Lake!  That pal of a pal didn't tell me until yesterday.  I for real, cannot wait. 

As much as I hate daylight savings time stealing a precious hour of my sleep, it's super cool having it light out later.  So I suppose I'll take back what I said about killing it. 

Well, as far as the friends issues that I was having before, things have worked out.  By no means have they worked out how I would have planned them, but ultimately this is a good thing.  I think I've been given these situations so that I am forced to give up any control I think I have, and let God do it for me.  And I am learning to accept that. 

My abs hurt from running/throwing up so much. But I've been running well lately, so that's fun.

So I guess I'm off to some other stuff. 


Any control I thought I had just slips right through my handsCollapse )

1 need some chapstick

I'll stand in awe of You [30 Mar 2005|10:23pm]
[ mood | uncomfortable ]

Something isn't right with everybody, myself included.  I feel like the tables have turned and now nobody will tell me what is going on.  Ugh, why am I acting so vain?   I don't know why I am concerned that I did something.  It's not always about me, so I need to stop thinking that I am somehow involved if my friends are having an off day. 

I do, however wish people would tell me how they feel.  And I am a hypocrite because this is the exact thing that I have been hearing for who knows how long, but I am starting to understand how it feels. 

Though you wouldn't know based on the sizeable amount of them, I hate writing updates like this, that are dripping with emotion, but as much as I wish I could, I can't escape from the fact that I am a girl, and we so (un)fortunately have been given the gift of an ever-changing emotional roller coaster ride.  arg.

I will give You all my worship. Yes, even on days like these. The battle is already over.  And You are so worthy.

2 need some chapstick

I almost had you [29 Mar 2005|09:01pm]
[ mood | confused ]

I want to live in a place where it rains. Not this crap that taunts and tricks us into thinking that it's actually going to continue, and then turn into snow. NO MORE SNOW!

Today was considerably better than yesterday. I went to detention only to find a subsitute who reminded me very much of Mr. Rogers. Sitting with him was a million times more pleasant than facing Mrs. Doudna, especially after yesterday.

I tried to go to bed early last night, but I couldn't fall asleep for the life of me. I layed there in silence and thought about every single thing in the world I could possibly think of until I finally fell asleep somewhere a good deal later.

It appears as though we have 37 school days remaining. HECK FREAKING YESSSSS. The countdown begins....

Next Tuesday I'm going with Sarai to Encore to play my cello. Shall be fun and we get free burritos from Chipotle. It was funny though because she and Chris Luke were fighting over who was going to take me because the whole deal is, if someone from Encore brings a musician, both get free burritos. Sorry Chris, but Sarai got to me first. :) That's what you get for always eating my food in biology. It was funny because Sarai called me from practice and was like shouting above all these people and I could hear Chris in the background.

I really like Howie Day.

Today in English, people were doing poetry orals, and they were boring to say the least. So Ashley and Stephanie were passing notes, Sarai was gazing off into space, and Ron and Andrew would not stop staring at Ashley and me. It was freaky. So I leaned back and Ashley decided she wanted to put a pony tail sideways on top of my head with this little kidd-ish hair tie. It was funny, and she dared me to keep it that way for 10 minutes. So I did. And let's just say Ron and Andrew stared even more.

I did a sweet hand tinted print of a small church today in photography. It's black and white-very old fashioned looking, and I tinted random cobblestones of the front magenta as well as the steeple. Kinda cool lookin'.

Everyone keeps asking me what is wrong. I don't know if I'm not acting myself these days, but really, everything seems to be fine.

Quotes of the day:

"We're in a fight. Take your little blonde-ribboned-ponnytail elsewhere!"

"Sarai Glass, Laura Bachman and Audrey Atwell to the office-immediately"


I am bringing my camera to school tomorrow because English will be boring again. yep. Shall be fun.

Why is it my fault? So maybe it's I tried too hard. But it's all because of this desire. I just wanna be liked. Just wanna be funny-looks like the jokes on me. So call me captain backfire.

Josh Byrd broke his leg. Silly boy.

2 need some chapstick

When everything feels like the movies, you bleed just to know you're alive [28 Mar 2005|07:44pm]
[ mood | grumpy ]

Crappy day. Mrs. Doudna is an idiot and I have detention tomorrow.

I was super tired and had a lot of homework to do, but I finished it, and since I've been home, I feel much better. Easter was fun. Hung out with family and then went over to the McQueeny's later in the night time. That was fun. Hug tag- hehehe

So I was super DISGUSTED when I heard about that lady that found a finger in her chili at Wendy's. Holy freaking crap, that is gross. I think disgusted is an understatement. lkasdlkasjdlkasjdadasdnaslkda that gives me the chills really bad.

Nolan made me happy:

Who will catch you:What was wrong?

Tinkerbellchic74: ugh, not a lot, I just had a crappy day. I was about due for one, so no biggie.

Who will catch you: Well you made me sad. Usually you're the one that has to cheer me up, what is this?

Tinkerbellchic74: I know, I know. Don't worry, I'm feeling better.

who will catch you: just think of the time when we were all at Walker's for his 6th birthday party and I tried to kiss you.

Who will catch you: but then you kicked me in the shin and said "Nolan Joseph Saxton, if you ever try that again, I'm gonna kick you a lot harder!"

Tinkerbellchic74: :) hahaha that never happened.

Who will catch you: and then you ran away.

Who will catch you: oh yeah? let's see if I have a scar on my shin? ;)

Yay. Nolan, I apologize for kicking you in the shin on Walker's 6th birthday.

Well, I'm going to go in the hot tub and then lay down, because I am tired. The good thing about bad days is that when they finally come to an end, you know that there's no where else to go but up.

some chapstick

Do they not have pen and paper where you are? [27 Mar 2005|03:11pm]
[ mood | working ]

This little girl with long brown curls asked me today if I liked cowboys. I told her yes, and she said "My daddy's a cowboy" with an adorable smile on her face. It was cute, and in a random way, made me happy. I adore little girls. They are innocent and curious, genuine and loving. Then they grow up and turn into liars and backstabbers. But that's ok. This 5-year-old made my day today.

Bruce and I watched Return of the King last night. That was fun. He also got me the Anberlin cd and an awesome moodring. It made me happy.

Sarah turned off the lights when I was in the freezer today and I freaked out and thought the power had gone out, and I couldn't find the door, or anything for that matter. Arg. Then Amber left the spoon, which might I add, was STEEL, in the blender and turned it on.

I'm having an extremely hard time writing this, because I can't think of anything at all to write.

I've been having the oddest dreams lately. They've seemed so realistic as I dream them, and I wake up in that in-between feeling where I don't know if I'm awake or not, and then when I think back on them later, they seem unreal to all get out.

Spring Break winds down and I prepare myself for fourth quarter. If the trend proves true again this year, it will go by quickly. Quickly in a good way, but still stressful as ever. I'm going to go study in a little bit, because the last thing I want to do is go back to school already started off on the wrong foot.

I have a lot of prints due Friday for photography class. Something tells me I'll have to stay after school this week since the dumb darkroom is so small.

I think I'll update later. Happy Easter.

some chapstick

He said you're luck'll run out, girl [24 Mar 2005|11:49pm]
[ mood | distressed ]

Tonight could go on the scariest nights of my life list. On the way home from John's house, Lori and I ran into a huge pothole, and got a flat tire. The snow was insane-like whiteout/blizzard conditions, and we had to pull over. Two sixteen-year-old girls without a clue, and not a single person stopped to help us. John ended up coming to help us change the tire. A freaking semi side swiped us. It was so scary.

So we left John's house around 8:30, and I ended up not getting home until around 11. It was freakin insane. But I learned a lot, and we both lucked out.

Otherwise, the night was fun up until leaving. This morning it was warm as I ran, and now there's more than an inch of snow everywhere and it's pretty much a white out. It's ridiculous.

Tomorrow is the last official day off for Spring break, then it's the weekend and then back to reality. Yuck, I dislike reality.

Bruce got to go to Navy Pier today, and I am super jealous because I love Navy Peir to death, and wish I could have gone too. Grrr, no fair.

Holy Moley...what a night.

some chapstick

She said we were in love [23 Mar 2005|11:55pm]
[ mood | relaxed ]

I'm hungry.

Running in the morning. We have to go early because word is, it's going to snow sometime in the afternoon. Are you freaking kidding me? "Spring Break" I'm over it.

I cannot wait until Saturday. Saturday is going to rock hardcore.

I was the only one working today because it was so slow. This family from Denver came in, and was asking me fun things that they could do for the day, so I gave them directions to places and stuff, and the guy randomly gave me a ten dollar bill and said he appreciated it. It made me happy. I also got paid, and was pleasantly suprised at the paycheck, because I had such low hopes since I didn't work last weekend.

Well, I think I'll go to bed. I still miss him.

some chapstick

6 Am and I'm tired of missing you [21 Mar 2005|11:29pm]
[ mood | giddy ]

So I did what I absolutely HATE HATE HATE LOATHE ENTIRELY today- I bought jeans.  Oh man, I thought my mom was going to ring my neck by the end of the day, but rightfully so.  I am the pickiest when it comes to buying jeans, that I even frustrated myself.  Nevertheless, I came home with three pairs. (after driving all over freakin town) Mission accomplished. 

I cleaned my room, well for the most part, so that was cool. 

"Is that a guy...wearing a skirt? ...holding a purse...telling me to move along?"  -my mom.

 Haha, this guy was at the Citadel mall, and freaked my mom out.  I couldn't stop laughing.  She hates the Citadel mall cause she says it's where the "crazy people hang out and rear end her car or stab people."  Ha, I love my mom. 

Tomorrow I think Andrew, Tyler, Lori and I are going to do something.  Either that, or I want to see a movie.  EMILY, LET'S FREAKING DO SOMETHING!

Well, here is a fun survey type deal...since I was bored...


Sunset sailing on April skiesCollapse )

1 need some chapstick

Wake me When it's over [20 Mar 2005|04:27pm]
[ mood | hopeful ]

You know you live in Colorado when you go to school wearing flip-flops, because the weather is just that nice...and by the time you come home, it has been snowing for almost three hours. Arg. That's what happened Friday, and I am sick of this snow. It's supposed to be Spring break. Meanwhile my friends are on cruises to warm sunny places, and I sit here in Colorado where the weather can't make up it's freaking mind.

I worked today and yesterday, and it wasn't so bad. Randy has been in a good mood, and that usually determines whether or not the day goes well for all of us.

Bruce has only been gone since Friday, but I already miss him like crazy. Everyone is out doing exciting things for Spring break, and I miss them all. Oh well.

Tomorrow I am going shopping. I can't wait because I have needed jeans and shoes for I don't even know how long...My mom is taking me up to Denver, and I am going to do some HARDCORE shopping. I can't wait.

Over Spring break I am going to clean my room, my bathroom, get rid of things I don't need anymore and overall just get organized. The process has officially begun, and it already feels nice.

I cut out letters from magazines and I have Galatians 6:9 up on my door. It looks pretty sweet.

Well, happy spring break, and happy Birthday Kevin!

4 need some chapstick

You're either lost or you're found. There's not much inbetween [16 Mar 2005|08:55pm]
[ mood | :) ]

He is...


He is the reason why...

I smile when I look at the caller ID.
I anxiously sit through school.
I refuse to go to sleep despite the fact I can't keep my eyes open.

He makes me feel...

absolutely indescribable.

I think this is what love feels like.

some chapstick

[15 Mar 2005|10:39pm]
[ mood | worried ]

Eh. Saw The Thorn tonight. It was awesome as usual, but I couldn't handle the cross scene and the demon scenes as usual either.

I wish I would stop trying to trust myself.
I wish I would trust God, who knows what's going on anyway.
I wish decisions were easier to make, but at the same time I wish that I could be challenged so that I'm not sitting here completely still.

I need to be showing up. If I'm not stepping up to the plate, then I'm not moving.

some chapstick

Recap [14 Mar 2005|06:44pm]
[ mood | excited ]

So I have been gone for a while cause I've been busy doing stuff, but let's recap-

Friday: Young Life was fun as usual in the morning. I left after 6th period, for I hadn't packed at all, and then I left to go to church. I arrived and saw all of my wonderful friends and saw Nick, which completely and entirely rocked my socks off. I had missed him like no other. So that was fun. We arrived at Crooked Creek and listened to Foolish Things, which was a sweet band, and heard Erik Lawson speak, which was insane.

Saturday: We had some crazy fun...Lori and I straightened Kevin's hair. I felt so accomplished because he has like wicked ringlets all over his head and we straigtened it all, and he looked hot. (that's what all the girls were saying, at least) it was hilarious.

Lori, Kevin, Adam, Nick, Chris, Kyle and got in an intense game of around the world ping pong, and that was wicked fun too. Later that night, we played this game that involved racing these skittles to the other side of the camp without having anyone shine a flashlight on you, and Andrew Wilde chased me over a hill and I fell on my face over Alex, and like scraped up my forehead on a block of ice. It was fun. Then, everyone went tubing, but Me, Josh, Austin, Tyler Lori, Matt, Nick, and Kevin didn't feel like going, so we were playing pool, and Matt and Nick taught me how to juggle-ish.

We had a countdown going to midnight, and when it arrived Tyler, Lori and I ran around the cabins making all kinds of noise, and Josh and Seth rang the bell and almost got me in huge trouble. It was exciting. Josh walked across the fire, and I kept getting mad at him cause I thought he was going to catch himself on fire. Everyone felt the need to throw me in the snow like 10 times because it was my birthday, so that was pretty cold.

Sunday: woke up to hear the fire alarm going off, but it was all a big joke. I am 16! Yay! At breakfast, Lori brought cupcakes, and our table ate them and got icing everywhere and it was super fun.

Daniel Tedder did the entire Napoleon Dynamite dance, on stage, in costume, and I decided that he is my hero.

I was exhausted by the bus ride home, and I fell asleep to wake up with "Happy Birthday" and a mustache drawn on my face in PERMANENT MARKER! Arg. Oh well, it was pretty funny,and everyone got a whole lot of pictures. I'll post a bunch later, I just need to develop them

With all of the funs with this weekend, being at Winter Camp, and turning 16, I gained a lot more than I had even hoped for. I learned that I really want to challenge myself. Like a lot, and I can't wait until someone, or I get to this challenge, and come out learning a lot.

Today I had an interview with Allison, for Eagle Lake, and that was way incredibly awesome.

Tomorrow we take dumb CSAPS, but I get to leave at like 12:30. I'm going to see The Thorn later in the evening, and I can't wait.

This was SO long, but I felt I needed to update on how adventurous my weekend was. So until next time...

some chapstick

[09 Mar 2005|09:22pm]
[ mood | a little ]

Gosh. He always says how I never call him and that I must hate him, so I finally call him, and actually care how he is doing, and all he can do is be a jerk. I told him that I needed to finish up my homework and he decided that I just didn't want to talk to him so he hung up on me. It's not like he said more than 15 words to me anyway. Ya know, he's right. I wake up in the morning and wonder how I can piss him off the most that day. Looks like I accomplished my goal and can go to bed feeling complete.

Yesterday Bruce and I went to Chipotle and then went back to his house. I had a wonderful time, as usual. ... I'm going to leave it at that.

School went by so slowly today. Mr. Mays' pre-concert anxiety came early this concert, so he's been a complete psychopath for the past couple days. He actually has reason for it this time, because we are unprepared.

Lori and Kevin and I have SWEET shirts for Winter camp. Yeah, we're cool. I was so happy to talk to Kevin. I hadn't seen him in a while.

Friday is Winter Camp, and then Sunday I turn 16. I can't believe I'm not more excited than this. It'll hit...It'll hit.

Now that I think of it, I haven't been anxiously waiting for anything lately. School in general is going by quicker than lately, and work isn't quite as unbearable as it formerly had been, which is a nice feeling.

I'm just a little bit scared to fall from this mood that I am so happily feeling lately, but if it does end, something tells me that this is all worth it.

Something tells me I'll never come close to another like you.

some chapstick

[04 Mar 2005|11:43pm]
[ mood | grateful ]

I can neither believe nor comprehend the ways in which God works.

The fact that I get all this when I deserve nothing of the sort, confuses me even more.

some chapstick

You wonder why you're on your face again [28 Feb 2005|08:21pm]
[ mood | ..confounds all notion of time ]

You know...when you sit back, relax, and honestly take a very thorough look at your life, and put things into perspective, you will discover what it is that keeps you going.  What it is that gives you enough incentive to make it through the week, and what sparks hope for a good day tomorrow. 

I recently have done this.  I've stepped off of my little pedestal of self-concern for a moment and really taken a look at where I am right now, what is to come, and what I've learned from the past. 

What I've come to realize:

  • I feel closer to God than I have been in a while, and I am excited to see where he is taking me next in my life. I regret ever being satisfied where I was in my walk, and I have finally opened my eyes to see that I am the one that had turned away.
  • Telling people how I feel is a lot easier to do when I understand the fact that the world will continue to rotate whether or not they feel the same.
  • Worrying get's me absolutely nowhere in the big picture, and although me saying this now probably won't do a whole lot, I am writing this down, because I was thinking, and for this moment in time, I honestly and truely was at peace with almost everything in my life.
  • You give a new meaning to happiness when you can be in the same room with someone, and do absolutely nothing, and before they open their mouth, you know you don't want to leave.

I can deal with school, I can deal with work, I can deal with stress.  This last semester will go by quickly, and after that, things will be perfect again.

For the first time in a long time, I feel like this is meaningful, and really how I  actually feel.

I can't stay awake, cause you know I'm thinkin, always thinkin of you.  I can't fall asleep, cause you know I'm dreamin, always dreamin of you.

some chapstick

[25 Feb 2005|11:45pm]
[ mood | peaceful ]


Any minute I'm not with you, I hope I'll see you soon. There's just something that happens when you walk into the room.

Please don't ask me what I like about you, cause it's every little thing you do. And that's just the way you make me feel.

some chapstick

I'm bouncin off the walls again [24 Feb 2005|09:47pm]
[ mood | hyper ]

So this post is exclusively for Stephanie because she says that I never write about her in here, which of course is not true, but I thought I would anyway.

So we've pretty much decided on our next movie. This, I must say, is going to be even better than our last movie about where I killed her and stuff. And that was freakin amazing. We just need to find the time, and then we'll film it.

I was talking to her, and I was being a total blond and it was funny. It went kinda like this:

BoraBora (6:25:09 PM): wow im cold
Tinkerbellchic7 (6:25:12 PM): me too
BoraBora (6:25:13 PM): im in my bathing suit lol
Tinkerbellchic7 (6:25:15 PM): what is with this wednesday
Tinkerbellchic7 (6:25:16 PM): why?!
Tinkerbellchic7 (6:25:20 PM): psychopath
BoraBora (6:26:02 PM): i have no idea
BoraBora (6:26:07 PM): ha what?
BoraBora (6:26:09 PM): wednesday?
BoraBora (6:26:12 PM): its thursday
Tinkerbellchic7 (6:26:23 PM: Umm, duh, thanks bud, I was confused...
Tinkerbellchic7 (6:26:23 PM: wait a minute...
Tinkerbellchic7 (6:26:23 PM): holy crap
Tinkerbellchic7 (6:26:30 PM): I totally meant to say "what is with this weather"
Tinkerbellchic7 (6:26:39 PM): hahaha
Tinkerbellchic7 (6:26:42 PM): I'm an idiot
BoraBora (6:26:56 PM): nice
BoraBora (6:26:58 PM): blonde moment
BoraBora (6:26:59 PM): that's hott

So yeah, I'm an idiot, and pretty much BOUNCING OFF THE WALLS. What can I say? I'm pretty high on life right now. Not.


Ok well tomorrow is Friday kids. And I'm watching Braveheart.

I took a half hour nap after school today, and it was really weird because I woke up to turn off my alarm clock on my phone, and I'm not even kidding, I looked down, and I saw like a million ants crawling on my bed. I freaked out, and then realized that I was definitely still sleeping. It was so creepy.

I went to Bruce's concert tonight. It was funny because he was looking around and didn't see me.

He makes me so happy.

some chapstick

I think about the life I'll have when this fragile one is gone [23 Feb 2005|10:32pm]
[ mood | indescribable ]

Yesterday morning sucked. I was late to school because my contact went like way back in my eye, and it frickin hurt. So that was fun, explaining to the lady in the attendance office why I was late. Ugh

But actually, by the end of the night, when I went to bed, I was extremely happy. Like super happy.

Then I woke up, and school went back to ruining my life again. But I'd rather be at school than frickin gay work. I need to find time to do my science project since I have like no free time to do it on the weekends. Actually, I just need to make some. I just have no desire to give up my precious afternoons and evenings to do even more work.

I have a math test tomorrow that is going to kick my butt, as well as a history test that I am unprepared for. I'm not as much worried about the history test, since I usually do fine, but this math test is gonna suck and I know it.

The picture I took of Sarai and her violin turned out really well as and 8x10. I was way excited.

My spanish grade is finally going back up. That class pisses me off. Bad.

I cannot wait until summer. I have said, and will continue to say this, hoping that by saying it more and more, it will come faster.

So the new Bugs Bunny that they're making pisses me off super bad too. It's all vicious looking and disturbing. What the crap possessed Warner Brothers to change a classic like Luney Tunes?

Well I am bored, and this post is even more boring, so I am going to go to bed very shortly. We've made it through half the week.

Then and there, I confess-I'll blame all this on my selfishness. Yet you love me, and that consumes me.

some chapstick

[21 Feb 2005|09:34pm]
[ mood | worried-ish ]

I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love I love three day weekends.  A lot.

Today was fun.  I woke up, went to work to get my check and the movie I left, and then came back, took a shower, and Bruce and I went to the park.  That was fun.  Then we just hung out until I had to leave.  Then I came home and cleaned up my room until I had to go to dumb Masterdrive. Which was dumb. Yeah.

I have a super bad headache, and it sucks.  Oh well, I'm talking on the phone, and I'm happy. Tomorrow it's supposed to be cold. Ugh, I can't wait until summer.  For so many reasons. I can and will make it though. 

So I found out today that the 5 K run that we usually do is on March 12, and I'm gonna be out of town, so I can't do it.  Grrr. Oh well, I'm going to be having fun.

For some reason, I feel like this is going to be a stressful week.  We'll see.  I think it's just because I work both weekend days at ridiculously early hours for the rest of forever, or so it seems.

Oh well, I'll live I suppose. 

Summer needs to hurry itself up, because I am done with this year.


We dream, we cry to amplifyCollapse )

some chapstick

[20 Feb 2005|10:16pm]
[ mood | ditzy ]

This day, from 7:30-1:30 should be forever removed from the history of time.

After that, it got better. I came home from work, cleaned up a little bit, fell asleep and then went to church. Church was cool. I got to talk to Daniel and of course he, Sean and Austin had to make fun of me, as usual, but eh, it's fun. I think Daniel might be going to Winter Camp after all, so that makes me wicked happy.

After youth group, I went to Annie's house and we looked at like a million pictures. I saw THE CUTEST pictures ever of some friends when they were little, and it made me really really happy. Then we started the Notebook, but I left shortly into it.

Tomorrow I have Masterdrive at like 5:30, but I think Bruce and I are going to hang out, which is also very cool. My mom also wants to go shopping, so I'm gonna see if I can talk her into taking me after driving. We'll see.

So here's to happiness, cute pictures, Presidents' birthdays, and of course, The Notebook.

Jessica told me that I should take a quiz. 10 yes or no questions to
tell me what love really is. I searched for my answers, I lied
and said I like NSYNC. They said my middle name's don juan, and
I'm sure of myself, I think. Cause I say if your asking me, love
is sacred, love is sweet, and my 17 magazine tells me that you're
in love.

some chapstick

[19 Feb 2005|11:14pm]
[ mood | happy ]

Today was fun. Bruce, Greg, Gentry and I saw Hitch, which was really funny. Then Bruce, Greg and I went to Chipotle. We sorta kinda got lost, well not exactly lost, but we took a pretty stinkin long detour back to Bruce's house where we hung out. It was fun and we made snickerdoodles, which was also fun.

This weekend is the best. As long as I can get through work tomorrow, I am good cause we have Monday off. Woo hoo.

Monday I have masterdrive, but that's later on so I might go shopping, but I really want to hang out with friends as well. We'll just see, I guess.

Tomorrow I have church in the evening, but other than that I think I might come home and sleep if I'm tired after working. Who knows.

So I am, in general, happy. And this is very cool. I don't even care who knows who I like anymore, because honestly it's not a big suprise to anyone really.

Tomorrow I get my ticket back from Austin who got it signed from Chris Tomlin at the concert for me. yay.

I really like the song Faded by Soul Decision, and it's kinda funny...

Hey maybe I'll go to bed at a halfway decent time tonight since I work at 7:30 tomorrow morning. Eh, probably not, but oh well. :)

some chapstick

Love Goes Wrong But Life Goes On [16 Feb 2005|10:12pm]
[ mood | hungry ]

2 Hour Delays = Happiness

Today was just fine.  35-ish minute classes are a thing I can DEFINITELY get used to, that is for sure.  Classes went as so...

  1. Did normal stuff...I actually had homework since we didn't have much class time
  2. Played through the Russian Easter Overature.  Retarded.
  3. Pretty much had a free period because science fair stuff needed to be turned in
  4. Pretty much a study hall, like photography is everyday.  Though tomorrow I actually have to print my stripes.
  5. We watched Of Mice and Men, which is so so sad.
  6. Gayness like Spanish usually is.  But today seemed worse than usual.
  7. Watched Schindler's List, which was also really sad, and helped Megan write a poem.

What a waste of a day.  Seriously, I did like nothing. 

There was like no one at bible study tonight.  But that's ok.

Tomorrow will be kind of nice because I will have absolutely nothing planned after school, so yeah, I can relax and do whatever the heck I want. Yep. 

So the concert was super sweet.  I love Chris Tomlin.  A lot.  I'll post some pictures later maybe.

So wow, I have nothing else to say.  Except I am very hungry.  So Goodnight!

some chapstick

Enough Said [14 Feb 2005|04:16pm]
[ mood | eh ]

some chapstick

Once again, my mood is sleepy [13 Feb 2005|09:23pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]

So I am so glad that this weekend is over because I worked both days and next weekend, a three day one might I add, I work ONE DAY!  Ahh, I can't wait.

I must say though, work has gotten better.  It's nice.  I got majorly good tips yesterday since Amber and I were the only ones that worked, so that was exciting.

Church was pretty fun.  I got some pictures, but I'll just post one, cause Austin and I wore the same shirt which was flippin awesome.

This week needs to go in fast forward, and then slow wayyy down for the weekend. 

Hope's mom, the Schambachs, and Felissa came in today.  It was weird. Like everyone, and their mom (literally) decided to eat there today.  It was kinda funny.

Tomorrow is the Chris Tomlin/Casting Crowns concert which shall be very very fun.  Like everyone is going. (me, Lori, Brandon, Austin, Sean, David, and Josh) will all be there. 

I can't wait for the summer.  As far as I'm concerned, it can't get here fast enough, and couldn't stay around nearly long enough to make me happy. 

I hope everyone has a wonderful week, and those of you who have boyfriends/girlfriends have a wonderful Valentine's day.  The rest of us only have 24 hours to wallow in self-pity and then we can resume to a normal life again.  So no worries. ;)


BATMANCollapse )

some chapstick

[08 Feb 2005|09:40pm]
[ mood | cold ]

YayCollapse )

2 need some chapstick

I love to love you out loud [07 Feb 2005|10:23pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

I pretty much woke up like 20 minutes late...rolled out of bed, and went to school. We were late. Like-late. The bell rang before we got into the building this time. Oh well. I looked like crap, but I really really didn't care.

School was so stupid. We moved seats in spanish, and Sarai and I are partners, which was pretty sweet. ¡Por fin!

I seriously had 4 hours of homework today. How lame is it that we have 7 hours of school a day, and then come home to do that much more work. UGH. I feel so accomplished though cause I got my 19 page packet that's due Wednesday for history done.

I've got my pijamas on inside out...hoping for a delay tomorrow. But no, my hopes are not up.

Tuesdays are usually not bad for homework. I need to practice for a hardcore playing test on Wednesday. That's about it.

Turns out Mrs. Bale did recognize me when she came in to eat on Sunday. She said I looked busy so she didn't want to be distracting. Hehe.

Speaking of distracting:

Greendayskater70: You're just a stumbling block on my quest to focusing on working hard in life. You distract me and I'm doin all good, and then I fall on my face. Ouch

Good times...that reminds me of Chicago.

Well, I am actually going to bed soon.

And I really am gonna tell someone. Cause It doesn't even matter to me anymore.

I'm gonna stand on a rooftop, climb up a mountain top, baby scream and shout. I wanna sing it on the radio, show it on a video, baby leave no doubt. I want the whole world to know just what I'm all about. I love to love you out loud.

some chapstick

[06 Feb 2005|09:32pm]
[ mood | exhausted ]

One of the worst feelings in the world is going to bed exhausted, closing your eyes, rolling over once and looking at the clock to see that you have to wake up in a minute.  Seriously, if felt like I slept 10 minutes max last night. 

So I went to work at 7:30 and it was super slow until around 8:30.  The seemingly slow day turned out to be the most stressful day I've had since I've worked there.  But whatever, I'm over it. For serious.

School is dumb, and I worked super hard Friday night on homework but that's pretty much it.  I need to finish my essay and my history packet.  Tomorrow. Yes.

Tonight was fun.  I saw Jonathon and some other people I hadn't seen in FOREVER. But not Aaron. I don't know where he's been, but it worries me a little bit. I think I watched a total of 10 minutes of the game.  Just the commercials which didn't impress me at all. Who cares, I didn't like either team.

Last night was pretty fun.  Sarai, Ashley, Matt, Bruce, Greg and I hung out. Yeah, it's kinda sad but minus a few people and it would have been more fun. Oh well. 

Daniel recorded THE sweetest Napoleon Dynamite thing on my phone. He sounds just like him, it's hilarious. 

Yep, well that is it. Here's to a good week for everyone...

some chapstick

I worry I won't see your face light up again [03 Feb 2005|08:55pm]
[ mood | blank ]

Well, I'm sitting here in my bathing suit deciding on whether or not I'm actually going to go in the hot tub...

This week has suprisingly gone by somewhat fast. Tomorrow I babysit, Saturday I work, Sunday I work, and then am going to a superbowl party. Oh joy, busy-ness

I regret slacking off last year, causing my class rank to go down. I've decided that school= learning, and not entirely socializing. Well, my dad made this decision for me, I am only trying to abide by it.

I hate to bring this in to every update, but it's on my mind. I keep thinking I'm going to tell him, or at least someone who I like. But there is no use. I am sure he likes someone else, cause he tells me he does, so I see no point in ruining what we already have. It just get's so frustrating that I think pretty soon I'm going to have to tell him.

I will develop my negatives tomorrow. I'm excited to see some of my shots. I'll post them if they're good. My radial design and contact sheet are due a week from Friday.

I don't think I'm going in the hot tub. Ah, I always do this.

Sometimes I wish I could push rewind to last semester of last year. Back when I didn't worry about all this stuff, and things were perfect, or close.

some chapstick

Take my Hand, Live While you Can [31 Jan 2005|09:55pm]
[ mood | sick ]

The one time that I had not a single ounce of hope for a snowday, that all I did was joke around about missing school, we had a snowday.  Like every district in the city did.  It was flippin sweet.

I found the camera I'm getting.  It's a digital camera/camcorder and it's less that $90.  Heck yes.

My roll of film is due tomorrow in photography and I have like 4 pictures taken.  Crap.

So I'm sick with somethin.  I think it's just a cold, but we'll see.  I might go to the doctor. 

I.CANNOT.wait.until.summer. I can't do it.

I got some jeans today with my mom, which has got to be one of my very least things to do.  I loathe buying jeans.  I can never find ones that I like.  ugh. I got one pair.  They're ok, but the selection wasn't good because my mom was sick and didn't feel like being there long. 

I have been praying and praying about a bunch of stuff.  This guy that I like has every single aspect of what I look for in a guy.  Everything. I haven't ever felt this way before. Like, I've liked guys in the midst of him, but it is never the same.  I wish I could just tell him.  Something tells me that he knows already. I'm just going to do it one of these days. It just sucks because I'm pretty positive he used to like me at one point. But things got so screwed up that it was all over.
Grrr, one day I think I'm over it, but the more I wish that I could control the way I feel, the more I realize that I can't.  There's got to be something that God's trying to show me, I just need to figure it out.

School sucks every ounce of goodness out of life.

Naturally we have more natural disasters from the strain of the fast paceCollapse )

some chapstick

[30 Jan 2005|09:30pm]


some chapstick

FINALLY [30 Jan 2005|09:20pm]
[ mood | I am entirely over it ]

Let's recap-

Friday night: Ew. The movie was good, however.

Saturday: FREEDOM! NO WORK!  I got stuff done, and got to hang out at Bruce's house.  Way super super fun, and we made a sweet snowball that was like 5 feet tall.

Sunday: Worked, almost lost my job (sort of) and went to youth group. Eh, that was fun.  Actually, it was wonderful because I have now decided that I am completely, entirely, and absolutely over Nathan.  Yessss.

Which brings me to the realization- The reason guys and I aren't working out right now is because no matter who I think I like, he is always ALWAYS there too.  Like, I think I like a guy, but I find myself subconsciously comparing them to him...'him' is the name that he shall go by for now...Because I'm about 62.5% sure that he reads this. 

Yeah, I'm acting like a middle schooler.

Another thing I've realized is that I have screwed up some relationships as the backlash of my stupid immaturity.  So I shall fix them.  Yay

I wish there would be a snowday tomorrow.  But nahhh I doubt it.

Maybe I'll actually get a decent night's sleep tonight.  For the past couple of days I've been having super scary dreams that have woken me up all scared.  But yeah, what can ya do.

From here on out, God is, and will stay above all.  Any guy that doesn't accept that is, well,




Negatively speakingCollapse )

some chapstick

And I Finally Feel Alive [27 Jan 2005|08:54pm]
[ mood | hmm ]

Tomorrow is Friday.  Plans for the evening have changed a little bit, but my mood hasn't gone down too bad because I don't work Saturday, and we're still hanging out. 

CRAP...I was typing stuff, and then it dissapeared, and now I forgot what I was going to say. ARG, this sucks.

I've decided that I need to work a little bit harder.  Not like completely consume myself in studying, but I'm slacking a little too much this semester already. 

I am still in the process of finding the perfect digital camera.  I'm going to do it soon though.  For real.

Ok, well I can't think of anything else to update about. So this is the end.


Cold and unconcerned are anything but newCollapse )

some chapstick

I liked you better before [26 Jan 2005|09:16pm]
[ mood | drained ]

Every day this week has felt like Friday. What a depressing moment, coming to the realization that it is indeed Wednesday, and not Friday.

I didn't go to history today 7th period because we were supposed to be doing presentations-I already presented so I went home because I had a doctor's appt. Turns out, Haffley was sick, so we had a sub, and a very large assignment. Well crap. That's what I get.

Spanish test= waste of time.

I cannot wait until Friday. It is going to be the best, and this week is getting better and better.

I had to read the stupid assignment for english. It was soo boring. I thought the Scarlet Letter was dull...well, these authors one-up'd Nathaniel Hawthorn. However, I have finished, and am proud of myself.

I can make it through tomorrow, and then it is Friday. :)

Math class is hilarious. Eamon's jingle for Moon Pies about made me die.

Well, I am off to do whatever the heck I feel like, because I have, for once, finished my homework early.

I'm out here, way beyond the shadow of a doubt, and I know I'm never falling out of favor with you.

2 need some chapstick

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